Quick answer: Delayed ejaculation is when a man takes a very long time to ejaculate, often over 25 to 30 minutes, or cannot ejaculate during sex despite wanting to. Common causes include certain medications (especially some antidepressants), alcohol, performance anxiety, masturbation habits that do not match partner sex, low testosterone, nerve problems and ageing. It is very treatable once the cause is found.
Much is written about finishing too quickly, but far less about the opposite problem. Delayed ejaculation can be just as frustrating, for both partners.
What Is Delayed Ejaculation?
Delayed ejaculation, sometimes called retarded or inhibited ejaculation, means a significant delay in or absence of ejaculation during sexual activity, causing distress. Some men can climax alone but not with a partner. Others struggle in all situations.
Types of Delayed Ejaculation
| Type | Description |
|---|---|
| Lifelong | Present since first sexual experiences |
| Acquired | Develops after a period of normal function |
| Situational | Only with a partner, or only in some situations |
| Generalised | In all situations, including alone |
Common Causes
Medication
Some antidepressants, particularly SSRIs, are well known for delaying ejaculation. Certain blood pressure and pain medications can also contribute. Never stop medication without speaking to your prescriber.
Alcohol and recreational drugs
Alcohol dulls nerve sensitivity. See alcohol and erectile dysfunction.
Masturbation habits
A very firm grip, fast pace or reliance on specific visual material can make partner sex feel less stimulating. Read can masturbation cause erectile dysfunction for ways to reset.
Psychological factors
Performance anxiety, relationship tension, pressure to conceive, guilt or fear of pregnancy can all play a role. See performance anxiety in men.
Low testosterone and ageing
Sensitivity and arousal can decrease with lower testosterone and age. See signs of low testosterone in men.
Nerve and medical conditions
Diabetes, spinal problems, multiple sclerosis or pelvic surgery can affect the nerves involved. See diabetes and erectile dysfunction.
Delayed Ejaculation and Erections
Some men lose their erection before they finish, which can look like delayed ejaculation. The opposite also happens: men who struggle to climax may lose firmness through fatigue. Read losing erection during sex.
Natural Steps That Can Help
- Change masturbation habits: lighter touch, slower pace, less explicit material
- Take a short break from solo sessions to increase sensitivity
- Reduce alcohol, especially before intimacy
- Focus on sensation and connection rather than “trying” to finish
- Communicate openly with your partner about what feels good. See how to talk to your partner
- Support overall health with exercise, sleep and nutrition
Fertility Concerns
If delayed ejaculation is making conception difficult, a combined approach that also checks sperm health may be helpful. See how to increase sperm count naturally.
How Men Health Clinics Can Help
Our naturopaths in Faerie Glen assess the physical, lifestyle and emotional factors behind delayed ejaculation and create natural, non-surgical plans. We will also advise if a medication review or further tests are needed. See our men’s wellness page and our guide on how long a man should last in bed.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why can’t I ejaculate during sex?
Common reasons include medication side effects, alcohol, masturbation habits, anxiety and low testosterone.
How long is too long to ejaculate?
Regularly taking more than 25 to 30 minutes, or being unable to finish, and feeling distressed by it may indicate delayed ejaculation.
Can delayed ejaculation be treated naturally?
Often, yes. Changing habits, reducing alcohol, addressing anxiety and supporting overall health can help significantly.
Do antidepressants cause delayed ejaculation?
Some do, particularly SSRIs. Speak to your prescriber about options rather than stopping on your own.
Conclusion
Delayed ejaculation is common, rarely discussed and very treatable. Identify the cause and take the pressure off. Men from Pretoria, Menlyn, Lynnwood, Centurion and Johannesburg visit our Faerie Glen clinic for private, natural support.
Book a private consultation with Men Health Clinics
- Office: +27 76 608 1048
- WhatsApp: +27 76 608 1048
- Email: info@menhealthclinics.co.za
- Address: 765 Panbult St, Faerie Glen, Pretoria, 0043, South Africa
Prefer to book online? Choose a time on our appointment page.
Disclaimer: This article is for general education only and is not a substitute for a personal health assessment. Do not stop any prescribed medication without speaking to your prescriber. If you have chest pain, severe pain, fever or an erection lasting more than four hours, seek urgent medical care.